Today is not my day. I went the whole day without talking to one of the most meaningful people in my life, I selfishly put a drastic end to a relationship, and I realized that 2 days ago marked the 4 year anniversary for Kelby's death. I woke up this morning and everything was relatively fine, but I know that I'm going to have the most difficult time falling asleep because of all the overwhelming emotions. It makes the most sense because the people that know me best know that I'm not very easily overwhelmed. Reflecting on each different occasion slowly, but surely broke down the virtually indestructible levees in my eyes, also known as tear ducts, in a Katrina-like fashion. For some reason unbeknown to me, everything seems to be stacked against me at once. Its either I'm happy and competent with my life and the way things are going, or I'm really somber and flirting with depression. It's not one set thing or person that causes this, but that's just the way things have been working out so far. I said this to Abi earlier: "Im at a fork in the road, and I just wanna go straight." Too bad I know that there is no way to go straight and that I just have to keep on driving myself to happiness. I just had a quick mental debate on whether or not to use success or happiness in the sentence prior to this one. i chose happiness because along with happiness comes success. I swear if I didn't have a knack for writing then my head would explode sometimes. I think that I'm done for the night, I'm gonna try and get some sleep. If I can't, then it's back to bloggin.
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