my life, your entertainment.

it's crazy the way things are. i've been up here for almost 3 months, yet it feels like an eternity. i mean, i knew that things were gonna be hard, but i didn't think that it was gonna be like this. even though it doesn't seem like it sometimes, i really do miss you, and it hurts me more each day that im not with you. it got to the point that i didn't want to come home because it was like somebody was teasing me. all the hours sitting out on your step, or on 40th street, or laying on my couch are definitely not taken for granted. im not gonna lie, there are times when you are unappreciated, and im really sorry for that. i just know that things aren't going the best for us now and i really wanna patch things up before you leave for school. i mean, we think that this is hard now, but when you leave i really dont know what im gonna do with myself. something happens everyday that makes me realize more and more how lucky i am to have somebody like you in my life. i say this all the time, and i hope you believe me, but i really do love you with everything in my heart. its crazy because i know that our time is gonna be short lived with you going to school and me going back too, and i just wanna make the best out of what we have. im really under a lot of pressure from schoolwork and whatnot, but thats not an excuse for the lack of attention ive been giving you. idk babe, i just dont wanna be hurt again, and i definitely dont wanna hurt you. ive said it before and im gonna say it again. id sacrifice me being with you as long as your happy, because, although that would really kill me inside, i would be happy with the fact that your happy. Nykia Charae Sizemore, i just want you to know that i love you with all my heart, and that's never gonna change.